Self Care is Not Selfish
Hey Hey there,
Self-Care has increasingly been broadcasted on social media and we are so thankful for that positive message of self-love are becoming more common. Every day in the hustle and bustle of busy schedules we are prone to stress, failures, rejection, loneliness, rumination and develop unhealthy habits.
This post was inspired by a moving TED Talk by psychologist, Guy Winch. He starts by talking about how we, from a young age, learn how to care for the human body; If we get a cut we need to clean it and put a band-aid on. But what do we learn about our caring for our feelings and emotions?
If we don’t pay attention to our minds and emotions we have a lot at risk. Negative effects on the body can include headaches, muscle tension, fatigue, sleep problems high blood pressure, increased risk of heart attacks. Negative effects on mood and behaviours, such as, lack of motivation, sadness, depression, anger, social withdrawal, increased tobacco or alcohol use…and the list goes on.
Here are some takeaways from the TED Talk, and if we recognize when we are our own worth enemies we can become happier and healthier.
- Social connection: maintain connections, as we are social beings, most of us thrive on a sense of community and belonging. Guy Winch says that at times of loneliness most people tend to feel rejected or that other people don’t care about them as much as they care for others, its typically not trie. Say you didn't get invited to a party a lot of your coworkers went to, it's easy to personalize and think that its something you did or that people are not thinking about you. To battle these feelings, reach out, make a plan with your nearest and dearest. Appreciate those who you can count on.
- Distraction: If you’re replaying distressful events in your head or overanalyzing situations where you did not perform like you wanted to, first, recognize that you’re ruminating. Secondly, find something else to focus your attention to steer away from the negative emotions. For example, listen to music, turn on your favourite audiobook, work on a puzzle, ask your friend/partner about their day. According to Dr. Winch, studies show that even two minutes of distraction will reduce the urge to focus on the negatives.
- “Talk to yourself like someone you love” Brené Brown Imagine going out for a blind date, you are excited and have spent time getting ready for the occasion. As the date goes on, things aren’t flowing as you expected and the person you are going on a date with decides they are not interested and would like to end the date early. Rejection is a terrible feeling - In those moments we are usually the first to put ourselves down. The person in this example may think…I was not fun enough, no one finds me attractive and so on. Imagine calling and loved one, would they say that to you? They would not. Therefore it is important to talk to yourself like someone you love!
- Protect your self-esteem: Build yourself up, you’ve already got what it takes!
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